The Rules
by Seanait
Summary: Daniel gets a sudden idea. Season 6


okay, there's an odd story behind this... me and nightpheonix were chatting on MSN and we were pitting McKay against the Sarcastic Ascended Ancient (SAA) and at one point McKay insults the SAA on how the SAA goes around interfering in the lives of others and McKay says all he has to do is go find Chaya on that planet and ask her the rules... so then this idea came out of nowhere...

i say have fun!

oh bother... i ALWAYS forget this part... _Disclaimer: Not mine, let's get on with it before I cry over it..._

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**The Rules**

Daniel looked vaguely at Oma who was helping a friend of theirs ascend. Not anyone any of Daniel's earth-bound friends knew. Oma's gaze started darting around. He'd gotten used to this… she was watching for "the Others."

Daniel became bored when this started to happen. He'd never seen the Others, nor had Oma, at least not in the last five hundred years. It had to do with the all-imaginary "Rules." No one had actually **told** him "the Rules," but he'd known them when he had ascended.

Turning to the helpful Oma, he said "Oma, I'll be back in a bit. Just going to see someone." She sighed. The ascendant didn't really understand why Daniel couldn't give up his mortal friends.

"Go, but remember…"

"No helping the human race, I know. I'll be back soon," Daniel finished. With that, he took off.

Ah, the SGC – so familiar, so comforting. His old home. Daniel had plopped himself in the middle of the gate room, unseen.

"_Unscheduled offworld activation!_" Stepping out of the way, Daniel realized that the action had been purely out of habit and he blushed. The gate opened with its customary floosh as he saw Hammond and Walter conferring. He wondered who could be coming in.

The iris flew open and out came SG-1.

"Figures," Daniel muttered to himself. They didn't seem hurt; rather they had little, square, red patches on them. Hammond walked down and looked at them oddly. Little did he know, Daniel was doing the same, but barely suppressing a laugh.

SG-1 plopped down on the edge of the gate ramp and painfully avoided touching these areas.

"Sir… we ran away," Jack was explaining. He seemed to have the least amount of spot on him.

"Why?" Hammond asked.

"Little switches of square wood kept hitting us when we tried to think of something," Sam added. Daniel burst out laughing.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Going to his old office, Daniel sat down and started to write something for the team. He wrote first: _This is so you guys know how to deal with an Ascendant and the Others next time you see one._ Yes, that should do it. He labeled the paper "The Rules."

Rule 1: Don't mess with life on the lower planes.

Rule 2: For Chrissakes, if you do, the Others, who you will probably never see, will come and ruin your pitiful mistake of a life.

Rule 3: If we find you in ANY way involved with Oma Desala (sexually or physically), you WILL be punished to watching something, be it a planet or a person.

Rule 4: If you see SG-1, clear off.

Rule 5: If Jonas finds any tablets, take them away from him – he'd probably break it.

Next to that rule Daniel wrote _I'm dead serious guys, it's a real rule._ He cringed and added _Sorry for the pun._

Rule 6: If anyone goes back to Atlantis, tell the humans there to clear off or that they're doing a… relatively good job…

Rule 7: And oh! Don't tell them about the ZPM storage room in the basement.

Rule 8: Umm… there is no rule 8.

Rule 9: Sorry, we're liars. Don't use your powers on anyone who can't defend themselves against you!

_That's all of them guys. I miss you terribly: Jack, Sam, Teal'c. And Jonas, I hope Jack isn't giving you too hard of a time. – You know who._

He left the paper on the desk in that plane's form so the team could read it and he again took off.

**Sometime Later**

Jonas walked into his new office and was again reminded of the old owner's presence. Dumping his stuff and relaxing, he noticed something amiss. Quickly he called the rest of his team to join him in his office.

"Want do you want Jonas? Get lonely? We just saw you fifteen minutes ago," Jack said sarcastically. By now, Jonas had gotten used to Jack's sarcasm.

"No, but I did find this," Jonas said holding up a note of some sort. Sam peered at it.

"That looks like Daniel's handwriting!"

"Let me see that," Jack ordered. H started to read it out loud. "'This is so you guys know how to deal with an Ascendant and the Others next time you see one. The Rules.' Took him long enough for him to give us this." The rest of the team agreed with a nod of heads.

They all crowded around the paper to read the magical words written from a "dead" friend. At the end, they stood up with extremely puzzled looks on their faces and slowly Jack read off the last words.

"'That's all of them guys. I miss you terribly Jack, Sam, Teal'c. And Jonas, I hope Jack isn't giving you too hard of a time. You Know Who.'"

"Those laws are indeed strange. I had previously expected the Ancients to be… stricter," Teal'c stated.

"Indeed Master Teal'c, indeed."

From above, Daniel looked down upon the hapless humanoids.

"Why'd you do that?"

"Do what?" Daniel responded in an 'I'm-totally-innocent' voice. Oma leveled a look at him.

"Write them that list of rules."

"Because that's what they are," Daniel argued.

"Good point."

"Glad you see it my way," the young ascendant laughed.

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well? its not the best written thing i've ever done, but... hey whatever... **REVIEW OR ELSE!**


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